So, I was looking over the Internet when I ran across a series of captioned photos, chronicling the last few days in the life of an eleven-year-old boy with a terminal illness. (Warning: it WILL make you cry.) I was looking at this, and I started thinking about it.

First, I just want to talk about how incredibly tragic that is. That little boy, Derek, had to grow up really quickly. He had to make grown-up decisions. I quote:

"Derek, you might not make it if you don't do this," Cyndie tells her son. Derek fires back: "I don't care! Take me home. I'm done, Mom. Are you listening to me? I'm done."

The way that boy spoke, it was like he was an adult already. He had to decide whether or not he would continue treatment. He had to decide what would happen next.

This little boy died at the age of eleven. All I can think, really, is that it's such a waste of potential. This little boy could have grown up to be a musician, or a painter, or a doctor, or the President. This was a boy who will never get to play soccer with his friends. He'll never cry his heart out over a girl. He'll never get way, WAY too drunk at a party. He'll never grow up and get married, never have children of his own. He didn't even get a chance. But it's not just the little boy. What about his mother? I don't think I could take it, having a child of mine die. Can you imagine the heartbreak, the AGONY that woman had to go through? You have a baby. A little, new life. A vulnerable little miracle. And, a scant eleven years later, you are carrying his coffin, after spending months watching him slowly deteriorate, watching him suffer, watching him in such pain, and knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. I don't think I could do it. I'm amazed anyone can.

You know, I keep hearing all these religious types saying, "It is all in God's plan. God has a plan for all of us." And I just... I just want to go up to one of them. And I want to show them these pictures. And I want to ask them, "Did God plan this? Did God plan for this child to die in agony at the age of eleven?" I want to hear what they'll say to that.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm anti-God. Far from it. I'm a firm believer in a higher power. I very much believe that there is something up there, trying his best to take care of us. But I believe that God... just can't watch everyone all the time. So maybe while this little boy was dying of a terminal disease, God was on the other side of the earth saving a different little boy from drowning. He is doing his best, and he's trying so hard, but ultimately he just cannot save every child. It's not the best, but it's better than nothing. It's better than someone who doesn't care. It's better than someone simply using the "mysterious ways" excuse. And it's a damn sight better than a child's death being PLANNED.

People use things like this as examples of how God definitely does not exist. They say that he doesn't care about us, and there are no miracles anymore. But maybe they're just not looking hard enough. Maybe God is trying to talk to us, to show us that he's there, and we're too focused on seeing big shiny miracles, and we're not paying attention to the zillions of little ones. Have you ever read the section of the Bible called "Revelations"? It's all fire and brimstone and theatrics and big shiny 'splosions. But I don't think God's really into all that big flashy stuff. I think what God's really about is the little things that normal people don't notice.

Have you ever looked at a leaf? ... No, I'm serious. Have you ever seriously sat down and looked at a leaf? Up close? It's INCREDIBLE. All that detail. The tiny veins, the little sections, the nigh-imperceptible creases and cracks. Look at a leaf. Look at a flower. Look at the frost on a windowpane. Hell, look into someone's EYES. Look at how complex and intricately patterned they all are up close. THOSE are God's miracles.

Don't believe me? Try an experiment. Look at your own hand really, REALLY closely. Bring it right up to your face and look at it as hard as you can. Right now. Look at it, go on. I'll still be here when you get back.

...

Okay, done? I am almost positive that you noticed something new about it. A crease you hadn't seen before. A blemish, a slight discoloration, the way the light in this room reflects off your skin. That's what God wants us to notice. That's what he's trying to show us. The miracles we're all looking for are all around us. Maybe God doesn't work in grand gestures. Maybe he's constantly talking to us, through these tiny details that no one bothers to see. Maybe we're just not listening, because we're waiting for him to give us some huge, dramatic miracle.

It's the OPPOSITE of not seeing the forest for the trees. We're not seeing the tree for the forest. Not seeing the flower for the garden. Not seeing the smile for the face.

I want you to do something for me. If you ever feel alone, and if you ever feel like there's no one there, I want you to look at something you've seen hundreds of times. Your favourite shirt. A nearby pen. A piece of paper. Or even part of your own body. I want you to look at it closely. Very closely. And I want you to find something new about it. Find a detail that you hadn't noticed ever before. And remember that God is in the details.